Some of you read my diary may know that Steven works alongside the team in the background doing some of the much needed SEO work, however, today, he let me know that there was a debate on The Big Questions about “Should it be illegal to have sex with a young adult”.  He kindly sent me the link so that I could watch the programme and I have put the link here also for anyone wishing to have a watch and listen like I just had – the actual section to listen to starts about 20 minutes in to the programme.   Link here

The programme was really interesting.  I knew George McCoy who participated already – have history there!  I knew of Charlie Daniels having read her book and I was certainly interested to see her in the flesh.  I know of the International Union of Sex Workers who also had a representative there and I did find this whole debate really interesting, however, I will leave you to your own thoughts about the content and the people involved and what they said as I have a subject that has been on my mind that is closely aligned to that debate so it was a good lead in for what I wanted to chat about.

Over the years I have been part of this industry I have had hundreds of people applying to be an escort with Angels4You Manchester escorts or asking for advice.  What really worries me though is the increasing volume of younger girls asking for advice about agency recommendations and entering the industry.  These are young girls not yet fully developed emotionally or with a strong sense of fairness, rightness and ability to know how to say no to clients and even their agency owners.  My advice is always to not enter this industry and I often find myself really worried about whether or not those words will ever make sense to them.  I hope they do.

For the sake of completeness I have listed here the key reasons why not to enter escorting at an early age and have also put a link to this diary entry onto the Escorting Advice page as I believe it will be needed for future young women hoping to com into this industry.

Do you need money?

If so, that need will be used as a beating stick.  Example, phone call 2am, you are called to a booking.  You have already agreed with the agency that you do not want late night clients but agency owners don’t listen as they know that if you don’t say yes, another girl more desperate for that wonderful wadge of cash will be and then they will just not contact you first next time so you lose money either way.  Other side of the coin is that the client will most likely be drunk or drugs at that time of the night anyway 0h joy!  So …. do you need money ….. you answer that for yourself.

Can you say no?

You enter a hotel room for a booking, client is already undressed.  Tells you to get undressed and get on the bed and spread your legs.  How do you handle that – you are frightened – that will be a definite but who can you go to for help?  If you ring the agency, they may get you out of there but they won’t ask you again to attend another booking meaning that no to that client really can stop you earning the money (see above).  How do you say no to a client that tells you what sexual service he wants.  How do you stop a client from pushing his hand on the back of your head and forcing you downwards.  When you are a young adult, despite thinking you know the world and how to handle men …. it is never as easy as you might think and you will not have as much backup as you might think.

The taxi driver wants a cut or payment in kind

How can you deal with this …. the taxi driver is supplied by the agency therefore they must be all right but think again.  I thought our taxi driver 7 years ago was ok because he was 70 and in his knitted cardy and should be safe.  I was so wrong and one of my team was put in jeopardy.  Late at night, coming home from a booking, you will have a lot of money on you and its just you and them.  How secure are you really in dealing with someone one on one I wonder?  You need to have safety mechanisms and just having your best mate on speed dial is not one of them that will be successful.

There are other concerns about age in this industry but if just one girl reads this and decides that this is not really for her, then my heart will be just a little bit less sore, however, the dishonesty by lack of openness is quite startling about this industry and I will return now to comment about the debate I watched earlier.

How old is old enough to be an escort … you are never old enough …. it’s a state of mind that you need and sufficient maturity and life experience that will enable you to handle what you will experience so when debates are ongoing about making it illegal for anyone under 21 to be able to sell sex then in some ways I am all for that, however, I still feel that legislation like this will not help the industry much.

Much is presently being said about making it illegal for men to buy sex as well as making it illegal for young adults to sell sex.  Unfortunately I think the government will not help the industry this way – men will always find a way to buy what they need (and, to make this understood fairly, so will women) and until they make the industry a lot more open and official then lovely little dark hiding places will continue.  Illegalities push it too far underground so for me, make things legal and less hiding places can be found but lets be honest here, men will find a way to buy sex, women will be desperate enough to find a way to earn money and if their body can do it for them, that will also happen.

All I want is protection at every level of this industry as so many of the women who want to enter escorting, don’t just need the money, they also need to feel wanted and for some obscure reason, physical intimacy fills a need that often their childhood did not.  The debate today had another side with people believing that they could help guide people already in the industry out of it.  From my end, don’t let them enter it is the core thing to do and if that means that agency owners (brothel and massage parlour owners too) have to be re-educated to ensure that they know how to guide young girls out of the industry and onto different pathways then that would be  the better way forward.  However, this is my viewpoint and not necessarily a right or wrong viewpoint – it’s just mine.

For girls thinking that escorting is for them, I would always, always urge them out of the industry and the younger the girl the more worried I am.

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