Well I have still got lessons to learn but having to lie, crap, I hate the idea of doing so. There are some people in this world that need their senses sorting out somehow and yes I am pretty annoyed. I think I know why this has happened, but what I will never be able to manage is the underhandedness that so many in society seem more than happy to do to others but I can’t so instead, I end up in the proverbial mess by being open and honest.

As you know I took an additional job on in December to enable some money to come through on a regular basis. I had only wanted a small number of hours but they preferred me to take slightly more so rather than risk not having the work I took it but its a real problem as I sometimes cannot answer the telephone when I need to. However, I had an email from the line manager a couple of weeks back letting me know that 2 people on the team had already commented to her on separate occasions that my impact on the team was fantastic and that the work is really special that I do. I know I took on a job I could do with my hands tied behind my back but it was still good to know that I had been noticed so quickly. Thank you is always appreciated in any job.

Today though I had a meeting with my line manager as I had already said that my tiredness with trying to fit in those additional hours was too much. Imagine my shock when I got in there to find her line manager too. They had had a complaint about me … an anonymous one … and not about my work but about me personally. My line manager really did have a dropped jaw when she had been told about this. She knows all about my jobs as I was upfront right from the beginning but on the times when I do get a call then I tend to take my phone, move out of the office and answer it and come straight back into the office within seconds. I took the minutes away from work away from my lunchtimes – its only sensible to do that.

I have been asked before now what my other business are and I usually answer that I teach IT, I do finances for small businesses and I run an introductions agency. All of which are normal … to me. Obviously not to others though. God, I hate lying to anyone but now, when anyone asks me what my other business is … I think the expression is “I am sorry but whenever I say anything it could be the wrong thing to say so I am sorry but I no longer am able to be honest and say what I do”. No doubt their jaw will drop but I am sick and tired of people who cannot let a person be who they are.

Someone, somewhere will always try and bring others down if they think that they are shining a brighter light than them. When will I ever learn that I cannot trust people and, to me, it will be a very sad day indeed if I ever have to the get to the point where I say “I don’t trust anyone any longer”.

I am away from work a lot next week thank goodness and don’t have to be in there until Thursday afternoon. I think I will need to be away to give me time to cool down from both the anger and, being honest (!), the hurt too!

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